So I have always been house proud. My wife, Jill, keeps a lovely home and a magnificent garden and pool which I lovingly scoop, treat, top up and backwash religiously. Imagine my horror when we recently got slapped with Level 1 water restrictions, making me wonder how I am going to keep the pool perfect. My first thought was my neighbour Maria and her borehole. To run a hosepipe over the wall would be so easy. I was plucking up the courage to ask her as I admit, she scares me a little bit. Eastern European descent, an unusual amount of facial hair and very forthright.

I brought it up at golf, at the 19^th hole where so many good and bad ideas are born. My mates all agreed it was a great plan but they are also a bit scared of Maria (Frank had a helluva awkward moment with her a few braais ago when he called her Marco). Then the club manager saw us and stopped to say hello to his favourite golfing grandpas. When he heard we were talking about my pool and the water / Maria dilemma, he dropped a total game changer into the conversation – a pool cover. Santa, I am so doff, why didn’t I think of that? So obvious. As for my golfing grandpas, I mean they could have been a little more inspired too. Anyway, all of us greatly relieved that we didn’t have to be nice to Maria, we continued to spend a happy few hours at the 19^th hole.

That evening, out came the laptop, and I started to buy my pool cover online. Let’s just say 19th hole, more like 90^th hole and I really shouldn’t have been operating heavy machinery. Imagine my surprise the next day when the fruits of my online shopping were delivered. With a mix of fear and excitement, I unwrapped my pool cover only to find I had ordered a kitsch decorative shower curtain with a picture of dolphins frolicking in a pool. I hid it in the shed before Jill could tease me. A few hours later, another delivery. This time a set of pool noodles for dogs. Not a pool cover in sight, just my three happy Labradors. I had to pretend to Jill that it was their early Christmas present and act like it was all planned. The next morning’s delivery was the final straw. This time it WAS a pool cover which was progress at least. Happy as ever, I got it on the pool. All downhill from there. Santa, this was no pool cover, it was like someone took a piece of bubble wrap from the post office and dunked it in blue food colouring. Pool cover, my butt! Just dragging it over the pool, already I saw bubbles flying off as it disintegrated. That thing would not last a single day and I whipped it off, worrying that my hadedas might ingest the blue bubbles.

I gave up. I started thinking about Maria again. My pool water levels were dropping before my eyes. Luckily, later that day Jill sent me off to the hardware for some lubricating WE40 spray as her metal leg was starting to squeak again and it was upsetting the dogs. Ambling through the aisles and worrying about my water dilemma, I suddenly spotted an Elf on a Shelf, or rather, a Shelf on an Elf, as there’d been an in-store merchandising accident that no one was owning up to. 

So Santa, without wanting to sound all sanctimonious and like a smoker who recently quit, but pool covers are the future. The future of water saving, the future of sustainability, the future of pools. Let’s educate and act. Please consider putting a pool cover in every pool owner’s Christmas stocking this year. And don’t muck about, use PowerPlastics Pool Covers. They have the best online store and sales teams.

I do have one request – inspiration for Jill’s present? Do I risk online shopping again? I hate malls at this time of year, even with elves on shelves doing magic things.

Best,

Grandpa Jack